A few weeks ago, a dear friend, not Jewish and I don’t think interested in becoming Jewish although he calls me his rabbi, asked a seemingly simple question. Standing in my kitchen over coffee, in the early morning with no one else up, he asked, “What does it mean to be a Jew.” I was tempted to retell the Talmudic story of the guy who went to Rabbi Shamai’s house and said he would convert if Shamai could tell him everything about Judaism while standing on one foot. Shamai shooed the person away. Not deterred, the guy went to Hillel’s house and was told, “What is hateful to you, do not do to your neighbor. That is the whole Torah; the rest is commentary. Go and study it”. (Shabbat 31a) 

Or Rabbi Akiva who said, “This is a great principle of the Torah: “You shall love your neighbor as yourself” (Lev. 19:18). (Bereshit Rabbah 24:7) 

His question was a serious one and a modern one and a personal one. I don’t think he wanted what the ancient rabbis had to say. After decades of our being friends, he wanted to deeply understand why be Jewish? Why am I Jewish? 

I, however, stand on the shoulders of those ancient rabbis, and those texts. I explained that those very texts give me meaning and that they help me act in a spiritual and moral way. They help me draw close to G-d, however you define G-d. And they give me community. They help me create community and the world I want to live in. He argued back that my community is bigger than the Jewish community. So, in an age of rising anti-semitism, he asked again, why be Jewish? 

That morning, we had Java and Jews, and like the House of Hillel and the House of Shamai, the House of Frisch Klein turned to some of you. What does it mean to be Jewish? Why be Jewish. I got similar answers…community, connection to the past, to debate and question, like my father said, a Jew is someone who questions, thinks and argues, so I ask you again, what does it mean to be a Jew.  

We refined our answer some to expound on our connection to the past, to be our parents’ legacies, their kaddishes. We are Jewish out of sense of obligation and a sense of identity. For most of the people in the room, we have always been Jewish. It is deeply part of our identity. Or we chose it as part of our identity. It is part of our ethical framework. And finally for that discussion, as cultural Jews, it is all about the food. Chicken soup with matzah balls, kugel, bagels. And that connects us too to all those family dinners and celebrations.  

Now to be clear. You don’t have to believe in G-d, per se to be Jewish. Although that fact surprises some leaders of other religions. Judaism is a religion and it is more than a religion. It is people, a culture, an ethnic group (and then some). Nevertheless, this week’s Torah portion offers a clue of how to draw close to G-d: “And now, O Israel, what does the Lord demand of you? Only this: to revere the Lord your G-d, to walk in G-d’s paths or ways, to love G-d and to serve the Lord your G-d with all your heart.” 

What, then, does it mean to walk in G-d’s ways? In one of my favorite midrashim we are taught: 

 “To walk in God’s ways” (Deuteronomy 11:22). These are the ways of the Holy One: “gracious and compassionate, patient, abounding in kindness and faithfulness, assuring love for a thousand generations, forgiving iniquity, transgression, and sin, and granting pardon.” (Exodus 34:6). All who are called in God’s name will survive.(Joel 3:5) How is it possible for a person to be called by God’s name? Rather, God is called “merciful”—so too, you should be merciful. God is called “gracious” as it says, “God, merciful and gracious” (Psalms 145:8)—so too, you should be gracious and give gifts for nothing. God is called “just” as it says, “For God is righteous and loves righteousness” (Psalms 11:7)—so too, you should be just.” God is called “merciful”: “For I am merciful, says the Lord.” (Jeremiah 3:12) so too you be merciful. That is why it is said, “And it shall come to pass that all who are called in God’s name will survive.” This means that just as God is gracious, compassionate, and forgiving, you too must be gracious, compassionate, and forgiving. [Translation by Rabbi Jill Jacobs] 

We are actually given a recipe if you will of how to do this, and it is in our siddur, our prayerbook as a study text every Shabbat: 

“And this is what Rabbi Elazar said: What is the meaning of that which is written: “It has been told you, O man, what is good, and what the Lord does require of you; only to do justly, and to love mercy, and to walk humbly with your God” (Micah 6:8)? “To do justly”; this is justice. “To love mercy”; this is acts of kindness. “To walk humbly with your God”; this is referring to taking the indigent dead out for burial and accompanying a poor bride to her wedding canopy, both of which must be performed without fanfare.”  (Sukkah 49b) 

And spelling it out even further based on this week’s portion:
Rabbi Hama said in the name of Rabbi Hanina: Follow Adonai your G-d. (Deut 13:5) What does this mean? Is it possible for a mortal to follow God’s presence? The verse means to teach us that we should follow the attributes of the Holy One. As God clothes the nakes, you should clothe the naked. The Bible teaches that the Holy One visited the sick: you should visit the sick. The Holy One comforted those who mourned; you should comfort those who mourn. The Holy One buried the dead; you should bury the dead.” (Sotah 14a) 

Later in the parshah it tells us that we should “Love the stranger because we were strangers in the land of Egypt.” It continues we need to uphold the cause of the orphan the widow and love the stranger, providing food and clothing.” 

These commandments are about building community, which was one of your answers. Community is perhaps a more modern concept. A community is about being in communion with others. What separates our community from other communities that we are all apart of? The PTO, the health club, the softball team? The answer I think is still in our texts. We are a kehila kedosha, a holy community, not in a holier than thou kind of way, but rather in a way that supports one another, in our sad times and our joyous ones. That’s about walking in G-d;s ways too. Its about celebrating life cycle events together, a birth, a Bar or Bat Mitzvah, a wedding. Or comforting others with a job loss, a health issue, a death. It is about coming together and saying Amen to each other.  

Still later it tells us again to “Love the Lord your G-d and always keep His laws, His rules and his commandments…” This is what we call the second paragraph of the V’ahavta and it is somewhat repetitive of the first. The reason to say this, is clear. It is part of the brit, a covenant, If you do this, then G-d will make rain to fall in its season, and you will eat and be satisfied.  

It seems simple to me: Judaism is an ethical way that demands we love G-d, love our neighbor, love the stranger. That we take care of the widow, the orphan, the stranger, the most marginalized among us, providing community, that we are a link in that chain of ancient tradition that has survived, that we leave the world a better place, that we ask good questions, that we do justly, love mercy and walk humbly with our G-d.   

So thank you for helping me to answer my friend’s question more completely.