“And he lived.” 

This is how our Torah portion begins in the full cycle. It seems an appropriate verse especially coming as it does at the end of Bereshit, Genesis and the end of the year 2023. Many people had a hard year this year. Many of you on the screen. But as we move into 2023, it is good to pause and talk about “What does it mean to live?” 

Once, when my daughter was beginning kindergarten my father wrapped up a beautiful gift. He loved to do intricate gift wrapping. There was a box in dazzling paper and inside that box was another box also wrapped beautifully and inside it was still another wrapped box and inside that was a bag of all the refrigerator magnets, both the English ones and the Hebrew ones. And note that this was her legacy. Now she had to put it together to find meaning. 

One of my favorite poems is by Mary Oliver, A Summer’s Day: 

Who made the world?
Who made the swan, and the black bear?
Who made the grasshopper?
This grasshopper, I mean—
the one who has flung herself out of the grass,
the one who is eating sugar out of my hand,
who is moving her jaws back and forth instead of up and down—
who is gazing around with her enormous and complicated eyes.
Now she lifts her pale forearms and thoroughly washes her face.
Now she snaps her wings open, and floats away.
I don’t know exactly what a prayer is.
I do know how to pay attention, how to fall down
into the grass, how to kneel down in the grass,
how to be idle and blessed, how to stroll through the fields,
which is what I have been doing all day.
Tell me, what else should I have done?
Doesn’t everything die at last, and too soon?
Tell me, what is it you plan to do
with your one wild and precious life? 

—Mary Oliver 

What will you do with your one wild and precious life? That is the question of what it means to live. 

Today’s Torah portion is the first recorded ethical will. An ethical will is not about how to distribute physical property. It’s not an advance directive or a power of attorney. You need those too. If New Year’s is about putting your affairs in order, I recommend using this form called the Five Wishes: https://www.fivewishes.org/for-myself/  

An ethical will is a document that passes down ethical values from one generation to the next. In today’s portion Jacob calls all his sons together and blesses them and then tells them that they should not bury him in Egypt, rather he wants to be buried in Ca’anan in the cave at Machpeleh, with Abraham and Sarah, Isaac and Rebecca. In Deuteronomy, which is often described as Moses’ swan song, Moses instructs his people how to be a holy people and the importance of teaching their children. 

From that humble start, it is a tool that has been used by rabbis and Jewish people until today.  

The early rabbis urged people to “transmit the tradition’s ethical teachings” and they communicated orally to their sons. Later they were written as letters. Eleazar ben Samuel HaLevi of Mainz, Germany, who died 1357, wrote to and instructed his sons to “Put me in the ground at the right hand of my father.” 

We looked at some examples that are included at the end. The American Bar Association has said that an ethical will can be a help in estate planning. In addition, writing an ethical will can be an aid in spiritual healing in health care and hospice.  

However, I wouldn’t wait until you are in hospice. Simon wrote a beautiful one for our daughter on the occasion of her Bat Mitzvah.  

There is no formula for writing an ethical will. They often include the following: 

• Lessons learned and meaningful family and personal stories from the past 
• Values, beliefs, and expressions of gratitude from the present 
• Advice, hopes, and requests for the future 

 Today we are going to try something different. We are going to write a group ethical will aa a gift to our descendents. It will be our legacy.  And hope that I can remember what we all said by sundown! 

 Here is what we said:
If I were talking to the next generation, I might say that Torah teaches us in Genesis that we are to be caretakers of this earth but that we haven’t done such a good job so we hope that your generation will do better. 

• May you respect, listen and learn. 
• May you greet everyone with respect 
• May you learn that there is no place for violence anywhere in the world. 
• May you show kindness and compassion to everyone 
• May that kindness and compassion be especially true of those who are displaced by war or famine. 
• May you do acts of lovingkindness by volunteering. 
• May you look inward, and listen to your bodies! 
• May you learn to dance and sing. May you know fun and joy.  

 Chazak, chazak v’nitchazek. 

 Additional resources for writing your own ethical will: 

Giving Children Your Blessing: A Rabbi’s Tips for Ethical Wills by Ronnie Caplane (J Weekly, September 15, 2000). 

Ethical Wills: Putting Your Values on Paper by Barry K. Baines, M.D. (Da Capo Press, 2006). Baines also publishes a website. He provides basic information for creating an ethical will with real examples of ethical wills written by people of different ages. 

Everything I Know: Basic Life Rules from a Jewish Mother by Sharon Strassfeld (Scribner, 1998). A spiritual-ethical will written by Strassfeld to her daughter as she leaves home for college. A combination of stories expressing family and cultural values, direct instruction, and apologies for pain she caused her. 

The Measure of Our Success: A Letter to my Children and Yours by Marin Wright Edelman (William Morrow Paperbacks, 1993). In this spiritual-ethical will for her sons, Edelman recounts her experience and perspective on life in essays variously addressed to her own children, to all children, and to parents. 

The Memoirs of Gluckel of Hameln translated by Marvin Lowenthal (Schocken Books, 1987). The only extant pre-modern spiritual-ethical will written by a woman, from 1690. 

So That Your Values Live On: Ethical Wills and How to Prepare Them edited and annotated by Jack Reimer and Nathaniel Stampfer (LongHill Partners, 2009). A collection of traditional ethical wills, which includes a guide to writing an ethical will, with suggestions for topics to be covered and a brief consideration about informing others about what you have written in it. 

https://www.sinaichapel.org/tools-resources/writing-ethical-will.aspx  

https://cdn.sanity.io/files/zzw4zduo/production/498f796abb5578d66c785b541c18f94a908dce6a.pdf 

Additional books about growing older: 

Wise Aging: Living with Joy, Resilience, & Spirit by Rachel Cowen 

Getting Good at Getting Older, Richard Siegel and Laura Geller 

From Age-ing to Sage-ing, Zalman Schacter Shalomi 

 Reading before Kaddish. The Dash by Linda Ellis: 

I read of a man who stood to speak
at the funeral of a friend
He referred to the dates on the tombstone
from the beginning…to the end. 

He noted that first came the date of birth
and spoke the following date with tears,
but he said what mattered most of all
was the dash between those years.

For that dash represents all the time
that they spent alive on earth.
And now only those who loved them
know what that little line is worth.

For it matters not, how much we own —
the cars…the house…the cash.
What matters is how we live and love
and how we spend our dash.

So, think about this long and hard.
Are there things you’d like to change?
For you never know how much time is left
that can still be rearranged.

If we could just slow down enough
to consider what’s true and real,
and always try to understand
the way other people feel.

And be less quick to anger
and show appreciation more,
and love the people in our lives
like we’ve never loved before. 

If we treat each other with respect
and more often wear a smile,
remembering this special dash
might only last a little while.

So, when your eulogy is being read
with your life’s actions to rehash,
would you be proud of the things they say
about how you spent YOUR dash? 

Linda Ellis 

 Some examples of ethical wills:

 Judah Ibn Tibbon to his son, Samuel, est. 1190 

My son!  Make thy books thy companions, let thy cases and shelves be thy pleasure-grounds and gardens.  Bask in thy paradise, gather their fruit, pluck their roses, take their spices and their myrrh.  If thy soul be satiate and weary, change from garden to garden, from furrow to furrow, from prospect to prospect.  Then will thy desire renew itself, and thy soul be filled with delight! 

…Let thy expenditure be well ordered. It is remarked in The Choice of Pearls, “Expenditure properly managed makes half an income.”  And there is an olden proverb, “Go to bed without supper and rise without debt.”  Defile not the honor of thou countenance by borrowing; may thy creator save thee from that habit! 

Samuel Lipsitz, New England businessman, written in 1950 

Somewhere among these papers is a will made out by a lawyer. Its purpose is to dispose of any material things which I may possess at the time of my departure from this world to the unknown adventure beyond. I hope its terms will cause no ill will among you. It seemed sensible when I made it.  After all, it refers only to material things which we enjoy temporarily. 

I am more concerned with having you inherit something that is vastly more important. 

There must be purpose in the creation of man. Because I believe that (as I hope you will some day, for without it, life becomes meaningless), I hope you will live right. 

Live together in harmony! Carry no will will toward each other. Bethink of the family. Help each other in need. Honor and care for your mother. Make her old age happy, as far as in your power… 

From So Your Values Live On, edited by Jack Riemer and Nathaniel Stampfer 

 A one paragraph ethical will by a mother to her children 

I fully expect that I will live for a very long time, to see you well into adulthood and to share your future with you. There is much to look forward to and I am planning on being part of all the adventures and all the challenges and all the joys. But if for some reason I am not, the most important thing you need to know is how much my love for you created the person that you will remember as me. I made you quite literally, in my womb, but you made me, too. I am so proud of you and so grateful to you.  When the time comes, and none of us can answer the question of when that will be, you need to know that without a doubt, I was fulfilled in my life. I have had a wonderful life and I don’t want you to mourn me – maybe a little, but not too long!  Carry me forward by re-creating the net that I was for you and be it for others. Carry me forward in your kitchen with oatmeal scones and casserole bread and pie, warm from the oven and made for your own delectable pleasure, or for those you care about.  Carry me forward with an optimistic outlook and tenacious devotion to what you know is best. Carry me forward and I will be with you always. 

Shared with permission from the author. 

 And one that appeared on the front page of the New York Times. Sholem Aleichem’s: 

https://sholemaleichem.org/community/ethical-will/index.html  

Last week some Hamas operatives were arrested in Germany and Denmark. Robin called and suggested that we have “Solidarity Shabbat.” Gene added to that and suggested HaTikvah Shabbat. 

I looked up the definition of solidarity: 

: unity (as of a group or class) that produces or is based on community of interests, objectives, and standards (Merriam Webster) 

agreement between and support for the members of a group, especially a political group: (Cambridge Dictionary) 

I would have said standing together. 

Then I looked up hope:  

to cherish a desire with anticipation : to want something to happen or be true 

to desire with expectation of obtainment or fulfillment 

to expect with confidence : TRUST 

HaTikvah is of course, the national anthem from the State of Israel. And it means the hope. It can be hard to find hope in times like these but that is where I am going to start. 

• This week Robin and I signed a letter of thanks to Holy Trinity and Zion Lutheran. They sent part of their Christmas offering for our security fund. Thus far I believe we have gotten four such donations. They stand with us. 
• We also delivered bagels, 8 dozen to the Elgin Police Department. 3 shifts, 6:30 AM, 2:30 PM and yes, Robin and I made the 10:30 PM shift. It was a little way for saying thank you to the officers who sit in our parking lot, or Holy Trinity’s or the funeral home, carefully watching our building, being a deterrent and keeping our people safe. We got thank you notes for our thank yous! They stand with us. 
• This past weekend, sadly, the United States saw somewhere between 200 and 400 swatting incidents. Fake bomb threats that pull attention away from police departments who have to respond to each and every one of those events. Did you know that we have a bomb policy? It was written many years ago as part of JCFS’s Safer Synagogue program together with the Elgin Police Department. Let’s review. If we get such a call, we will ask all of you to leave the building, out the door you came in. Go across the street to the funeral home parking lot and then we will go into Holy Trinity. Simultaneously, we will call EPD and they will come and clear the building.  Again, Holy Trinity and the EPD stand with us. 

People who stand with us, bring me hope. 

• This week I had a positive meeting with Mary who runs Occupy Elgin and Fox Valley Citizens for Peace and Justice. These are the people who stand on the Kimball Bridge near the library. Depending on the legislative issue, you (and I) may have stood with them. However, they are unapologetically pro-Palestinian. After much discussion and a yummy lunch I think she understands better while some view her position as not only anti-Zionist but anti-semetic. However, she doesn’t really want Jews destruction. I pointed her to Noa Tishby’s Israel, a book I have given several times to friends and family. The polite, civil conversation brings me hope.  
• I spoke with Dr. Suzanne Johnson, the supervenient of U46 about some of the “incidents” i have heard about in U46. Look for more programming with them after Winter Break. 
• I spoke with Apostle Larry Henderson about the Boys and Girls Club. They are not teaching that Israel stole the land in U46 schools. 

Each of these conversations brings me hope. 

• And perhaps the most touching thing, is that even in these times, people still want to become Jewish. Last night we were joined by one such person, who for the first time could say the Sh’ma as a Jew. In the next few weeks we will be welcoming formally a few more people just like him For each person, the reasons they want to join the Jewish people differ. It is worth having a conversation to learn how varied the Jewish people are. But once someone publicly declares there Jewishness, we are not allowed to talk about it again. A person who joins the Jewish people is dearer to G-d. This brings me hope.  
• Saying Mi Shebeirach brings me hope—and it brings hope to those for whom we are saying it. 
• Gathering in a shiva minyan brings me hope. 
• Community brings me hope. 

Earlier this year I asked our confirmation class to interview the people in our building that day about why they are Jewish. The number one answer was “the food.” Number two was community. After winter break we will be studying the words of Edmund Flegg which he wrote in1927: 

I am a Jew
I am a Jew because my faith demands of me no abdication of the mind.
I am a Jew because my faith requires of me all the devotion of my heart.
I am a Jew because in every place where suffering weeps, I weep.
I am a Jew because at every time when despair cries out, I hope.
I am a Jew because the word of the people Israel is the oldest and the newest.
I am a Jew because the promise of Israel is the universal promise.
I am a Jew because, for Israel, the world is not completed; we are completing it.
I am a Jew because, for Israel, humanity is not created; we are creating it.
I am a Jew because Israel places humanity and its unity above the nations and above Israel itself.
I am a Jew because, above humanity, image of the divine Unity, Israel places the unity which is divine. (After Edmond Fleg, “CCAR Rabbi’s Manual”, page 203-4) 

The Jew hopes.  

I first learned this poem in Israel in 1977 as part of a Tisha B’av service. Like we talked about all those many years ago, we are still here. That brings me hope. 

Our song today, HaTikvah is about hope: 

As long as in the heart, within,
The Jewish soul yearns,
And towards the ends of the east,
[The Jewish] eye gazes toward Zion,

Our hope is not yet lost,
The hope of two thousand years,
To be a free nation in our own land,
The land of Zion and Jerusalem 

The text was written in 1878  by Naftali Herz Imber, a Jewish poet from Zolochiv . It expresses the hope of return. In 1882, Imber emigrated to Ottoman-ruled Palestine (remember that’s what it was called then!) and read his poem to the pioneers of the early Jewish villages—Rishon LeZion, Rehovot, Gedera, and Yesud Hama’ala. In 1887, Shmuel Cohenwith a musical background, set the poem to a musical tune he knew from Romania. 

Our Torah portion today begins, “Enough!” said Israel. “My son Joseph is still alive! I must go and see him before I die.” The Torah itself brings me hope.  

I am hopeful that like Jacob would see his son Joseph, we will see the hostages. It can be hard to hang onto the hope but I remain hopeful that we will see the hostages still alive. 

I am hopeful that like Joseph and his brothers, we can find ways to reconcile, with each other, with our families, our communities and the world. 

I am hopeful that we will come to know, deep in our hearts, deep in our bones, in our kishkes, that like G-d’s promise to Jacob, that G-d goes with us. Always. That is the ultimate message of today’s portion. And it brings me hope. So much hope.  

So as we move into 2024, what do we dare to hope for. We have used this poem of Judy Chicago’s before, but it captures the vision: 

And then all that has divided us will merge
And then compassion will be wedded to power
And then softness will come to a world that is harsh and unkind 

And then both men and women will be gentle
And then both women and men will be strong
And then no person will be subject to another’s will 

And then all will be rich and free and varied
And then the greed of some will give way to the needs of many 

And then all will share equally in the Earth’s abundance 

And then all will care for the sick and the weak and the old 

And then all will nourish the young
And then all will cherish life’s creatures 

And then everywhere will be called Eden once again 

Copyright Judy Chicago, 1979 

An ode to Joe Wars. 

There was a famine in the land. So begins our portion today. 

Joseph and the Egyptians had prepared for this. During the seven years of plenty they had stockpiled food. It was a tale of delayed gratification. Joseph was a dreamer; and this was a fulfilment of his interpretation of Pharaoh’s dream, his prophesy. Like Herzel, “if you will it it is no dream.” Or maybe even better Yoko Ono said “A dream you dream alone is only a dream. A dream you dream together is reality.” Joseph converted Pharaoh’s dream into reality. Or maybe Walt Disney: “You can design and create, and build the most wonderful place in the world. But it takes people to make the dream a reality.” Joseph was able to rally the people and create a reality that included feeding people even in the bleakest of famines. 

The rest of the world? Not so much and people were hurting. Jacob sent his remaining sons to Egypt, hoping to find food, not knowing that Joseph was there. Yet he held Benjamin back. How could he risk losing another son? Losing Joseph earlier had been painful enough. 

When the sons came back to Jacob, needing to take Benjamin to Joseph, Jacob still balked. But then said, “If it must be so, do this: take some of the choice products of the land in your baggage, and carry them down as a gift for the man—some balm and some honey, gum, ladanum, pistachio nuts, and almonds.” So, there was still some food left in the land of Israel and Jacob was willing to share it. I am told that percentagewise, the people who are the least wealthy contribute the most to non-profits. People who have gone without are more likely to share what they do have.  

Imagine needing to pick up everything you have and move because you don’t have food. That is what is happening in today’s story and that is what is happening today in many parts of the globe. 

As the climate crisis become more pronounced, there are continuing discussions about mass migration. However,  “Most climate change- and natural disaster-related movement is internal rather than cross-border, and temporary rather than permanent. The likelihood of migration also depends on communities’ vulnerability to the impacts of climate change, which can be mitigated by adaptation measures such as building sea walls or other defenses, as well as individuals’ access to resources to move (including transportation, social networks, and legal pathways). There were 33 million natural disaster-related displacements in 2022, but the biggest displacement situations—from floods in Pakistan to droughts in East Africa—saw people move within their countries, at least at first. And by the end of the year, most disaster-displaced people went back to their homes. Over time, a bigger issue may be migration prompted by slow, gradual climate change impacts. Hotter temperatures can threaten agricultural livelihoods, sea-level rise can make floods more severe, and desertification can foster conflict over water access, all of which can lead to migration.” https://www.migrationpolicy.org/article/climate-migration-101-explainer  

Living in a desert environment is tricky to say the least and you need access to food and water. Critical. Think oasis. Egypt was known as the breadbasket of the Roman Empire. Israel was able to make the desert bloom again by using innovative technology like drip irrigation, increasing yields all over the world. They still actively consult on this topic. 

This year we saw tornados impact Elgin and at least several families at Del Webb force to evacuate. That was not a food insecurity issue, but a housing issue. And people had enough money, resources, friends and family to come out all right, except for the emotional trauma of being displaced, even temporarily.  

It is an example of it just doesn’t happen over there somewhere, but right here at home. 

Everyone needs nutritious food to thrive. And, while people are working hard to provide for themselves and their families, approximately 49 million people—that’s one in six people in the U.S.—still relied on food assistance from charities like Feeding America in 2022. According to Feeding America, one in five children in this country goes to bed hungry without knowing where their next meal is coming from. 

https://www.feedingamerica.org/hunger-in-america/child-hunger-facts  

It can seem overwhelming. Yet there is something about this portion that brings me hope. That someone who was foreign born and had been falsely imprisoned rose to be a great leader. That he could rally people together who did what needed to be done, allowing people. All people, even the “migrants” to survive. There’s a lot of hope in that.  

There is also something about our community right here that brings me hope, in a sad way. This week Elgin lost a good one. Joe Wars served on the Martin Luther King Celebration Committee with me. He was all about the kids and the scholarships that the committee would give to deserving students in U-46. But more than that he spearheaded the Martin Luther King Food Drive for years. His goal was always to bring in 40 tons of food which were then distributed to the various food pantries in Elgin. I spent many an early, cold Martin Luther King, junior Monday morning, sorting food with Joe at the Church of the Brethren headquarters, with countless teen agers, eating a donut and watching Joe be a cheerleader as the food would roll in. His sense of optimism was outstanding, impressive. His ability to bring people together: U46, the library, the fire department and the City of Elgin itself was amazing, And if you thought you couldn’t do something, anything, he would remind you that “G-d got you.” He was a man of deep faith. And excellence. His definition of excellence according to the Chicago Tribune, “If people are seeing you do your very best, hopefully you will influence others to do better in life,” he said. “Do the best you can to make the world a better place.” 

Soon, in our Jewish calendar, we begin the Book of Exodus, which states that there arose a leader who knew not Joseph. We in Elgin can’t allow that to happen here. Sure, we need to remember our patriarch Joseph. AND. We need to remember Joe Wars and his commitment to the kids, to ending hunger and to building bridges throughout the city. 

By the way, did you know that CKI has its own little food pantry. Just when you walk in, there are some green pantry doors. I peaked in at the beginning of December when we were making blessing kits for Centro. Someone had cleaned it all out. Perhaps, the food was expired. Perhaps someone came in need. We do have members that sometimes take. And we have members who sometime contribute. It is very useful for someone who is not quite making it. Like Jacob, I have seen at least one person put something in that perhaps they couldn’t use and take something out they needed. I have seen the police department ask if we have anything they can offer someone.  

We can’t solve global famine, but we can participate in helping those in need by replenishing our own food pantry and when the details come out helping with the Martin Luther King food drive. This year’s goal for the MLK food drive is 50 tons of food. Let’s make both Joseph and Joe War’s dream a reality.  

https://lf-forms.cityofelgin.net/Forms/MLK-Food-Drive?fbclid=IwAR35-oRrFGSbi3IhJ6P6kzul9saFwxhUzaRia6vf2ir72TQbkwz47GuWOOo  

List of foods for CKI Food Pantry: 

Easy open cans (some people don’t have can openers!)
Peanut butter and jelly
Tuna
Canned protein, meat meals, chili, etc.
Pasta
Tomato sauce
Rice in 1 pound bags
Pinto beans
Oatmeal in small packets
Saltines or other crackers
Mac and cheese in boxes or individual servings
Baby food

This is a story about this menorah, a Chanukiah, purchased as a gift for my parents by their landlords when we lived in Evanston on Ridge in the apartment. This couple, born in India, had made it in America. They were now homeowners and landlords and wanted to make sure our family could celebrate Chanukah. This was circa 1966. It is beautiful and I still love it. Project Menorah is like that today. https://www.projectmenorah.com/ Designed to encourage non-Jews to celebrate Chanukah, or at least put a menorah in the window so that Jews feel safe celebrating Chanukah. It is similar to the book I often teach, the Christmas Menorahs.  

Look around you. You will see many menorahs. The kids counted last week and I think we were at 30. I’ve added another 11 as I’ve decorated so that brings us to 41. Beauty is in the eye of the beholder. That’s why there are so many different styles. What is beautiful to me may not be to you and visa versa. We have a term in Hebrew for this, hiddur hamtizvah. The beautification of the commandment.  

The pictures we have seen of chanukiot–at your homes, in public spaces, around the globe have been heartwarming. And beautiful. Keep them coming.

Today’s haftarah has a vision, a dream of what the original menorah might have looked like in the Holy Temple. The menorah with 7 branches. The one that this holiday of Chanukah is all about. After the description of the menorah comes the interpretation of that dream and the story ends with the phrase, “Hain, Hain. And it shall be called ‘Beautiful, Beautiful.’”  Hain is an interesting word. Translated here as beautiful, it is from the same root as one of the 13 Attributes of the Divine. El rachum v’CHANUN. The Lord, compassionate and gracious.” In the Woman of Valor prayer, Eishet Chayil, it is translated as charm or grace.  

At Chanukah, we are often surrounded by memories and traditions with a healthy dose of nostalgia. Those latkes? Old family recipe. The menorah? One passed down through the generations? That song? One you sang years ago. It is all evocative.  

This tallit? It is my Women of the Wall tallit. Women of the Wall was founded Rosh Hodesh Chanukah 1988, the same year Simon and I were married. I had friends who were at the original service at the Wall. For our 25th anniversary we bought each other these tallitot. Because we support the rights of women to daven at the Wall. To have their voices heard. The prohibition of that in modern Israeli society and even sometimes even right here in Elgin, is often traced to today’s Torah portion.  

Close every door to me,
Hide all the world from me
Bar all the windows
And shut out the light 

Do what you want with me,
Hate me and laugh at me
Darken my daytime
And torture my night 

If my life were important I
Would ask will I live or die
But I know the answers lie
Far from this world 

Close every door to me,
Keep those I love from me
Children of Israel
Are never alone 

For I know I shall find
My own peace of mind
For I have been promised
A land of my own 

I grew up singing this song in Grand Rapids. No I wasn’t Joseph, I was just a kid in the chorus at Temple Emanuel; but I found the melody and the words haunting so I would dance around the living room singing it. The words and the melody are still haunting and relevant to today’s portion.  

Today’s portion is considered by some another Text of Terror. Last week we learned about Dinah. Why was that text even there? The question remains.  Today, we learn about Tamar in our triennial cycle and then about Joseph in Potiphar’s house in the full cycle. In both texts there is some perceived crime committed of a sexual nature that first Tamar and then Joseph are punished for. In both cases, there is some trickery going on. First the seemingly lovely Tamar becomes a zonah, a lady of the evening, a prostitute, a whore, a sex worker.  Is she tricked? Is Jacob tricked?  

Two books, Texts of Terror by Phyllis Trible and The Harlot by the side of the Road by Jonathan Kirsch, which I first read in an interfaith clergy book discussion group are worth adding to this discussion. They may give us modern clues and interpretations as to why these troubling stories are included. (Thank you, Father John Cox for initially recommending it. That’s a memory too!)  

Perhaps this parsha comes to remind us that women have rights. That they can only marry with consent. That they can’t be tricked into becoming sex workers. That false imprisonment on charges of sexual violations is wrong.  

Our tradition has much to say about justice. “Tzedek, tezedk tirdorf. Justice, justice shall you pursue.” That we should “do justly, love mercy and walk humbly with G-d.” But we are not to seek revenge. That vengeance is G-d’s, not ours.  

Recently we have been hearing a lot about the word nekamah. Revenge. It is a powerful word and a powerful impulse, born as one rabbi said this week, “of raw pain, deep fear and inconsolable anger.” But he adds that it goes beyond self-defense. It’s self-perpetuating—the “re: in revenge isn’t there for nothing. Nekama’s intentionally disproportionate terror and violence fuel wars and inflict traumas lasting generations…Nekamah. I hurt, so you will hurt. I suffered, so you will suffer more.” 

Tamar doesn’t choose nekamah. Joseph, falsely imprisoned, doesn’t choose nekamah.  

The prayer that we add at Chanukah, Al Hanisim, talks about nekamah.  “It poetically describes how God took up the Israelites’ grievance (“ravta et ribam”), judged their claim (“danta et dinam”), and avenged their wrong (“nakamta et nikmatan”), decisively defeating the wicked Greeks.” I’ve never been comfortable with calls for revenge. I’ve never been comfortable with prayers that beg G-d is on our side. Or that we are deserving of some miracle. https://truah.org/resources/ian-chesir-teran-vayeshev-moraltorah_2023/ 

This is Human Rights Shabbat so deemed by T’ruah and by American Jewish World Service, two organizations I support. This is the closest Shabbat to Human Rights Day, Dec. 10, which this year is the 75th anniversary of.  When the Universal Human Rights Declaration was signed 75 years ago, I believe it carried much weight, much fanfare and was the cause of celebration. There were other declarations that year as well, like the founding of the State of Israel 

These days the Universal Declaration of Human Rights feels tarnished. As we continue to watch the events unfold in Israel, where is the Red Cross checking on the hostages? How long did it take to decry the sexual crimes against the women in Israel on Oct. 7? I want those hostages back. That would be a Chanukah miracle. I want the war to stop. To have no more killing. It shouldn’t be complicated but it is. It involves trust which may be the opposite of fear. 

But I believe the promise of the declaration was real then, and I believe it can be again. Perhaps this is what we need to rededicate ourselves to at this Chanukah. We have much work to do. False imprisonment, here and around the globe… 

I don’t have all the answers, but I return to the words of this morning’s haftarah. Not by might, not by power but by My spirit alone shall we all live in peace. That is the ultimate vision of Chanukah. Not military force. Perhaps that is what we need to rededicate ourselves to. Then truly it will be called “Hain, Hain. Beautiful, Beautiful.” When every old person can dream dreams and the youth shall see visions. When everyone, everyone can sit under their vine and fig tree and none, none shall make them afraid.  

There is so much that happens in this week’s portion. It starts with Jacob and Esau “reconciling” after 20 years. That’s a full generation. They now have “made it” in their individual worlds, but in both cases they not only have animals and wives and children and servants; they have a great deal of fear. Fear is a powerful emotion. The brain science tells us that fear is designed to keep us safe. Neither Jacob nor Esau feel safe.  

Jacob tries to manage his fear by separating himself from his family. He is alone, on the other side of the river. I can imagine him meditating, taking deep breaths, trying to calm himself, trying to sleep. It is probably quiet. But if you have ever camped in the desert, it is not completely silent. The desert sounds seem magnified at night. Often causing more fear. Every noise startles. 

He then has an encounter with a being…a man, an angel, himself, G-d, the text is not clear. Is it a dream, Jacob is a dreamer after all. He wrestles with this being and his name is changed to Israel, which he is told means he has striven, wrestled with beings divine and human and prevailed. Jacob, now Israel, is a G-dwrestler. We are all, descendants of Jacob Israel, G-dwrestlers.  

In the morning, he has a different encounter. This time with his brother Esau who arrives with 400 armed men. Is Esau trying to impress? Keep himself safe? If it is just that it is hard to explain that Esau runs to greet him, falls on his neck, embraces and kisses Jacob. Is this real? Did the 20 years heal the tension between these siblings. The last time we saw an angry Esau, he threatened to kill his brother for stealing his birthright and his blessing. And Jacob, at the urging of his mother Rebecca, ran away, in fear. 

Jacob is afraid. He divides his camp, saying that if Esau attacks, perhaps half will be saved. And he also trying to impress. He offers his brother lots of gifts. 200 she-goats and 20 he-goats; 200 ewes and 20 rams; 30 milch camels with their colts; 40 cows and 10 bulls; 20 she-asses and 10 he-asses. That’s a lot of gifts. Does it assuage his guilt at stealing the birthright? Does it limit his fear? 

 At the end of this encounter, they go their separate ways. (Perhaps this is the original two state solution) 

And then there is an interlude. We almost have to ask why is it here? What is the text trying to teach us? 

 Jacob seems to now be settled with his 12 sons, the 12 tribes of Israel. And his daughter Dinah. This is not the stuff of Torah School bible stories. It needs a trigger warning, because this is tough stuff. When I tried to talk about it with someone this week, they told me flat out they didn’t want to hear about it. So if you need to leave the room, or turn off your Zoom screen for a while, that’s OK, but I do need to say this. In the Psalm that we say towards the beginning of the service, Psalm 30 it says, “A psalm of David. A song for the dedication of the Temple, hanukat habayit l’david” and later it says,
“What profit is there if I am silenced?
What benefit if I go to my ggrave?
Will the dust praise You? 

Will it proclaim Your faithfulness?” (Page 81 of Siddur Sim Shalom), 

This Psalm is one of the guiding principles of my life.   

This story of Dinah is the stuff of much midrash. That is because the text itself is sparse. It leaves too much to the imagination. Dinah went out. That’s it. What does that mean? Why did she go out? Something happened. What exactly happened? Our translation on Sefaria says, “Shechem son of Hamor the Hivite, chief of the country, saw her, and took her and lay with her and disgraced her.” But there is an asterisk on disgraced her. Heb. wa-y‘anneha, lit. “and violated her.” NJPS “by force,” but whether Dinah consented is not stated, and is not at issue; regardless, by the norms of the ancient Near East, she was disgraced. OJPS “and humbled her.” There is a big difference between disgraced her, took by force, violated her or humbled her.  

That is the basis for a long modern midrash. The much beloved by women today, Anita Diamant’s famous Red Tent. Diamant concludes that Dinah is not raped. That it was consensual. That she loved Shechem.  

The ancient rabbinic tradition slams Dinah. She went out. She shouldn’t have. It makes her out to be what we might call a “loose woman.” It seems to be a blame the victim response. If only she had stayed home. When Jacob learns what has happened to his daughter, he remains silent. He waits for his sons to come home from the fields. That silence is deafening.  

 But that silence continues today. As someone who has worked extensively as a rape and domestic violence counselor on the front lines of this topic for decades, I thought we were making progress with the birth of the #MeToo movement. If a woman tells you she has been raped, believe her. It is that simple.  

Sadly, recently, there was an article in Newsweek that gave me pause. After the brutal attack by Hamas on October 7, many women were raped, in the fields, perhaps just like Dinah, but the international community not only remained silent on this part of the story but actually denied it. https://www.newsweek.com/silence-international-bodies-over-hamas-mass-rapes-betrayal-all-women-opinion-1845783?fbclid=IwAR1H5x61fu-72iNnSpY7XzF5r46tHxbQ_PKHj7aF6K1dY1dGQAx34FomfDQ 

 It is our responsibility to reject this silence. Sadly, rape is now recognized as a tool of war. Even the UN recognizes it as such. Here is one such article. https://www.un.org/en/preventgenocide/rwanda/assets/pdf/Backgrounder%20Sexual%20Violence%202014.pdf  

And again, there are glimmers of light. Only glimmers thus far. Assita Kanko, a member of the European Parliament has said, “You can never call yourself a feminist again,” if you deny these credible reports of rape of Israeli women.  

In Riverdale, NY on December 5th there is a meeting to discuss these horrendous crimes. Sponsored by a number of the leading Jewish organizations, it will feature Dr. Cochav Eliyam-Levy, the chair of the Civil Commission on October 7th Crimes by Hamas Against Women and Children. Hosted at a Conservative Synagogue this doesn’t quite feel like enough. We need women from other traditions to understand what happened and to speak out.

Finally, after much pressure, the UN itself is hosting an special session on Monday, Dec. 4th to address this very issue.  

We need to bear witness to this horror. We need to continue to break our silence. So that no woman stands alone in these difficult, impossible, horrific moments. We need to continue to build and rebuild our coalitions. It is painful. But I cannot be silent.  

At the very end of  our full portion today, Rachel dies on the road in childbirth. At that very spot there is a church/mosque, which has seen too much violence through the years.  

There is a reference to this spot in Jeremiah: 

Thus said GOD:
A cry is heard in Ramah —
Wailing, bitter weeping—
Rachel weeping for her children.
She refuses to be comforted
For her children, who are gone.
Thus said GOD:
Restrain your voice from weeping,
Your eyes from shedding tears;
For there is a reward for your labor
—declares GOD:
They shall return from the enemy’s land.
And there is hope for your future
—declares GOD:
Your children shall return to their country. 

I can hear this prophecy of Jeremiah as modern day news ripped from the headlines. Rachel is still weeping for her children. All her children. And we can be silent no more. It is what I will rededicate myself to at this season of increasing light.  

Personal reflections and some needed history 

When I was pregnant, my husband and I went to Israel on a group tour. He had never been and it seemed the easiest way to see much of the country that I had lived in, in the limited time we had. My relationship to Israel is complicated, because of having lived there. We will come back to that.  

One day we went to Yad V’shem. I am always moved as you are exiting the museum the one baby shoe encased in glass. It gets me every time. I felt strongly that that this child not yet born would not have to face the atrocities of the era we call the Shoah, the Holocaust. In the gift shop, (I love museum and hospital gift shops), a menorah for as yet unborn child due during Chanukah that year. I raced to the bus breathless and showed it to the rabbi leading the tour. He promptly pointed out that I had bought a menorah, not a chanukiah and that there was no time to go exchange it. The next day, while everyone else was at an archaeological dig, I did go back to Yad V’shem and pick out a real Chanukiah. That candelabra is still my daughter’s who is now 33 this Chanukah. 

I have been thinking a lot about that chanukiah. In the 1930s and 1940s, there were people, not just Hitler, who wanted there to be no more Jews. The term genocide did not exist in 1944. It has a very specific definition.  

https://www.ushmm.org/genocide-prevention/learn-about-genocide-and-other-mass-atrocities/what-is-genocide  

Lots of people have been using this on both sides of the Gazzan-Israeli War. The Hamas charter calls for the utter destruction of Israel, from the river to see. So if you see signs reading “Free Palestine.” that is a call for genocide and the destruction of all Jews living in the land of Israel. That’s what makes it not only anti-Zionist but also anti-semetic  if you prefer anti-Jewish. And yes, there are some who don’t want to stop at the borders of Israel but the worldwide destruction of Jews. That would be genocide. 

Others have said that the bombardment of northern Gaza isn’t war but it Is genocide. I would rgue that it is not. It is not when Israel leafleted in advance and tried to get people to move to the south. It is not when Israel moved infants from Al Shifa to Egypt. What do you do when your military enemy uses schools and hospitals as shields as they have for decades? I am not sure. 

The scenes are impossibly difficult to watch. I want to scream, “The children, the children, the children.” 

And this morning, let me be perfectly clear. Children in Israel. Children in Gaza. Children in the United States. No 6 year old Palestinian child living in Illinois should be murdered by his landlord for being Palestinian. Three students near the University of Vermont should not be gunned down. Period. Fulls stop.  

That complicated history with Israel. My father would tell the story of staying up listening to the radio in 1948, the night the UN partioned the land of Israel. For him, it was thrilling. My mother was not a Zionist. Growing up as a Reform Jew, she believed that Israel did not recognize her Judaism and so was not a place she could support. My husband’s mother felt similarly. Yet, the Reform Movement started something called ARZA, The American Reform Zionist Association, so some Reform Jews were Zionists. There was a time when the Reform Movement sent more kids to Israel in the summer than any other organized Jewish group. I was one of the lucky ones. In 1977, I was bouncing on a bus in the Negev, learning much about the history of the land and how to be a songleader. And falling in love. With Israel and with a certain individual. The leader of that trip, an American, has lived in Israel now for decades. I reconnected with him at a J Street conference. 

Sadly, that person who I had hoped to marry was killed in 1983 as part of the incursion into Lebanon. My last phone call with him, around Yom Kippur of 1982 was that he was not involved in the massacre of Shaba and Shitila. For years I held Arik Sharon personally accountable for his death. Somehow, I never held Hezbolah or Lebanon accountableI still miss him and wonder what would have been.  

I don’t always support the policies of the modern State of Israel. That does not make me an anti-Zionist.  I have been a champion of Women of the Wall since its inception in 1988 arguing that women should have the same access to praying at the Western Wall as men. I have donated money and time to organizations like Parents Circle—Famiy Forum because no one should have to go through the pain I endured. https://www.theparentscircle.org/en/pcff-home-page-en/ Peace is the only option. How we get there, I don’t know. 

My daughter had the Torah portion that includes the verse from Deuteronomy that explains how to make war. It includes a verse that when you siege a city you cannot cut down fruit trees. Yet this has been a policy of the IDF especially on the West Bank. Therefore, I have supported Rabbi for Human Rights in Israel that plants new olive trees after Israel destroys ancient ones.  

The question of settlements on the West Bank is complicated. It is all complicated. In 2010 when I was in Israel on a interfaith clergy call, then Vice President Biden was also there. His message to Israel was that friends need to tell friends when they are wrong. He, and I assume Obama, felt that expanding settlements in the West Bank was a dangerous policy. I watched as the Damascus Gate was closed. Having lived there, I didn’t even know it was possible. It was a scary moment. 

Jews have lived in the land of Israel continually for millennium. They did not start living there in 1948. The history is complicated. I have read extensively on this topic. 

Here are my favorite of the books: 

• Noa Tishby’s Israel, currently reading and already seems out of date after Oct 7.but worth it. 
• Martin Fletcher’s Walking Israel, written by NBC’s former chief Isarel correspondant  
• Shavit, My Promised Land 
• Yossi Klein Halivni, letter to my Palestinian neighbor 
• Tolan’s Lemon Tree (also exists as a movie) 
• Friedman’s From Beirut to Jerusalem (I was once told if I only had one book to read that year it should be this one but may be dated) 
• Dershowitz, The Case for Israel (not my favorite, not objective enough)
  Junaid Afeef is recommending, 100 years war on Palestine.
  Someone else recommended Israel/Palestine,  

This is the list I gave to ECC. But since there is some confusion about whether you can be anti-Zionist without being antii-semetic, I would add two on anti-semitism: 

• Rabbi Evan Moffic’s First the Jews 
• Bari Weiss’s How to Fight Anti-Semitism. 

I said this earlier in this current crisis. I wrote my thesis on the topic of the 13 Attributes of the Divine. It too Is out of date because I dared to write about the Israel-Palestinian conflict. The conclusion remains the same. In order to make peace, in order to forgive, people need to feel safe. Generationally, no one, especially the children, feel safe.  

I pray for the children, All the children. I pray for peace, I pray for a return to a dream of the prophets, where everyone can sit under their vine and fig tree and none will make them afraid. I pray for a time where in the words of the Chanukah haftarah, “Not by might and not by power but My spirit alone, shall we all live in peace.” That chanukiah will gleam brightly this year. And I will continue to work for peace, for a time when no one lives in fear. 
 

Today’s Torah portion has a lot to teach us about strength. Stamina and resilience. We know the story. Isaac loved Esau and Rebecca loved Jacob. How many of us have said, “Mom loved you best.” In this case apparently it was true. But we know that it isn’t a very good way to parent. We also know that the power of the press belongs to he who owns it. So this story becomes a pivotal story in our history. But it also forces us to look at a really big question, what is truth? Is seeing (or in this case feeling) really believing? It would appear not. This question has serious echos today. As a former journalist I think about this a lot. How do we tell the story of the modern state of Israel. Do we celebrate Yom Ha’atzmaut or mourn the Nakhba?  How do we distinguish misinformation particularly on social media? In the early days, even Biden and Netanyahu were fooled. Do we know what is really happening at the Shifra hospital? How do we respohd. Isaac thought he was really touching and then really blessing Esau. It turns out it was Jacob, living up to his name, who tricked him. 

This portion is about generations. And we see in this portion, repeated pattens from one generation to the next. Abraham told Abimelech that Sarah was his sister. Not once, but twice. Isaac does the same thing. Rebecca is his sister, right? The ruse didn’t go well for Abraham and it doesn’t go well for Isaac either. Ultimately, Abimelech, himself recognizes the ruse and Abraham, and then Isaac, come out alright. (No real word on the long term effects on Sarah or Rebecca!). 

Then Isaac and his men dig wells.  

But the Phillistines became envious… And the Philistines stopped up all the wells which his father’s servants had dug in the days of his father Abraham, filling them with earth. 

Isaac dug anew the wells which had been dug in the days of his father Abraham and which the Philistines had stopped up after Abraham’s death; and he gave them the same names that his father had given them. 

But when Isaac’s servants, digging in the wadi, found there a well of spring water, the herdsmen of Gerar quarreled with Isaac’s herdsmen, saying, “The water is ours.” He named that well Esek, because they contended with him.  

And when they dug another well, they disputed over that one also; so he named it Sitnah.  

He moved from there and dug yet another well, and they did not quarrel over it; so he called it Rehoboth, saying, “Now at last יהוה has granted us ample space to increase in the land.” 

Eventually Abimelech and Isaac cut a covenant, a treaty, a pact. And they sat down and they feasted.  

This is not modern day news ripped from the headlines. But it could be. Those well have to be dug again and again and again. Acfess to water is even fought over. Place names remain the same. Be’er Sheva, Seven Wells for example.  

Water is a critical resource, especially in the desert. Just listen to how some American states argue over water rights with the Colorado River.  

Rabbi David Wole, now the Rabbinic Fellow for ADL said this week,  “My father once wrote a letter to all four of us (I am one of four boys) telling us that over the course of his life the single quality he believed was essential was stamina.  Struggling once, succeeding once, creating once – it was not enough in life.  You had to do it over and over again.” 

Isaac and his men had to dig those wells over and over again.  

Like Issac we are at a moment where we seem to be doing things over and over again. Yes, agreeing with Wolpe’s father, it demands stamina. It requires us to renew all sorts of things that we thought maybe we were past. Fighting against anti-semitism, Wolpe thought that was his father’s rabbinate, not for our day. Routing out Hamas. Didn’t we do that before?. Justifying the very right for Israel to exist, for Jews to exist? Making sure that people have water—both physical, clear drinking water, and the deep mystical mythical healing waters, mayyim chayim, living waters.  All of this takes courage, dedication, and determination.  

As Wolpe points out, “In mystical teachings, Isaac’s digging of the wells is an indication that he was seeking the depths of existence, the buried secrets of spirit. One of those secrets is that the world is still being formed and we, all of us, have a hand in creating it.  Hatred is on fire across the globe and the end of the war will not end the hatred.  We in the ADL together with our allies, no matter how tired we may be, must take a shovel in hand to redig the wells that our ancestors dug. To dig new wells is to produce living waters demanded yet again in a parched and needy world.” 

This story is not the only story of wells and hope. When Abraham banished Hagar and Ishmael and they ran out of water, she cried out, “Don’t let me look on while the lad dies.” Let me be clear. No one wants to watch their child die. No one should have to. No Israeli mother. No Palestinian mother. Not here in Illinois. Not there.  

Yet the story of Hagar doesn’t end there. She puts the child under a bush. G-d hears the cry of the lad, opens Hagars eyes and she sees the spring that was there all along. It is about finding another way. Doing something again and again and again. This fills me with hope.  

We saw some of that hope on Tuesday. Regardless of how many people were in Washington, 290K, 300K, 350K, which ever number you use, since the National Park Service is no longer doing official crowd counts, t is estimated that one out of three American Jews were present on the mall. This brings me hope. 

Hope is what I feel when even when the world seems pitted against Jews, again, people want to formally join the Jewish people. Some even right here at CKI.  

Hope is also what I feel when people reach out to us and ask what they can do to help. Hope is what I feel when you all show up. When we continue to plan for the Chanukah extravaganza. When we teach our littlest kids. When we create joy and light. 

So let’s keep digging those wells and looking for other ways to share our birthright not to sell it.

This portion is called Chayeii Sarah, the life of Sarah, and it begins, these are the year of the life of Sarah. Sarah was 100 and twenty and seven. And Sarah died. These is much to say about that. How she was in Kiryat Arba and Abraham comes to bury her. How he buys a burial place. How he eulogizes her. But that’s not the part we are reading today. Come back another year for that part. 

Today I want talk about one verse. 

Isaac was walking in the field toward evening. Some say that is meditating. We learn from this that meditating has a place in Judaism. Even walking meditation, whicn is a form that resonates with me. 

Last week we talked about prayer. Abraham prayed. Abraham prayed with Abimelech. Praying as we learned is about going to yourself, finding yourself. As the Artscroll siddur (Siddur Kol Yaakov) teaches,in its introduction,  “The Hebrew verb for praying is מתפלל; it is a reflexive word, meaning that the subject acts upon himself. Prayer is a process of self-evaluation, self-judgment.” 

Mediating is without the judgement. It is about just being. It can be about connecting with the Divine. Meditation is a practice that focuses your mind and gain greater awareness of your: 

• self 
• thoughts and inner experience 
• surroundings 
• moment-to-moment needs 

What you choose to focus on may depend on the type of meditation you practice, and the various types of meditation may offer slightly different benefits. 

Isaac’s walk is the basis for our afternoon service, mincha. Abraham arose early in the morning. That’s shacharit, our morning service. Isaac meditated in the afternoon, mincha and Jacod dreamed at night, that’s maariv.  

Let’s remember Issac. Isaac, whose father was willing to kill him, was never quite the same. How could he be? Today we would call it PTSD, Post Traumatic Stress Syndrome. His experience, left untreated, led to generational trauma as we will see as the coming weeks. Whatever happened to Isaac and whatever label we might give it now, it is clear that he suffered. 64% of Americans according to one CDC study suffer from at least one Adverse Childhood Experience, an ACE. While trauma-informed care, in schools, in other settings with children can help, meditation can play a role too.  

This is Veteran’s Day. Much of what we know about PTSD comes from studying veterans and Holocaust survivors. Many of the leading experts in PTSD are in Israel. A 2013 pilot study of 42 veterans with PTSD, a small sample size, but still, suggests the loving-kindness meditation, sometimes called the metta meditation that I taught last week can boost positive emotions, ease depression and promote self-compassion. It can help counterbalance feelings of anxiety, irritability, sadness and self-criticism. 

Is that what Isaac was doing in the field? It’s not clear. But when he lifted his eyes, he saw Rebecca, discovered love and was comforted on his mother’s death.  

We could do well to try it in these anxious times. 

Repeat each phrase after me:
May I be happy. May I be well. May I be safe. May I be peaceful. 

Think about a friend, a neighbor, a relative.
May you be happy. May you be well. May you be safe. May you be peaceful. 

Now think about someone you don’t like, maybe even hate, maybe even an enemy.
May thay be happy. May they be well. May they be safe. May they be peaceful. 

May it be so. Ken yehi ratzon. 

There is so much important moments in this portion. Abraham, Hagar and Ishmael. Abraham and Isaac. Fighting over wells. But today I want to focus on just one phrase. 

“Abraham then prayed to God, and God healed Abimelech and his wife and his slave girls, so that they bore children.” (Genesis 20:17) 

This is the first use of the word “to pray” in the Torah. In Hebrew the verb is l’hitpalel.” It is a reflexive verb, meaning that it is something you do to yourself. (My Frisch teacher would be pleased, but don’t worry, this will not be a grammar lesson!) 

But what does it mean to pray? To whom is Abraham praying? And for what? In earlier parshaas, we have our patriarchs offer offerings, some kind of burnt meat to G-d. Apparently G-d is hungry and needs a pleasing odor. This idea of praying, however, seems to be a new concept. How does Abraham even know what it means? Or how to do it. 

A dictionary definition of pray is “to address a solemn request or expression of thanks to a deity or other object of worship. “the whole family is praying for Michael”” 

In Judaism there are 3 traditional forms or prayer:  

• prayers of thanksgiving, and we have done some of those this morning.  
• Prayers of praise: like psalms that include hallelujah.  
• Prayers of request, those that ask for things. 

Some say praying is like having a conversation between yourself and that deity. We have an example of just such a conversation in earlier part of this parsha. The great debate between Abraham and G-d about saving the cities of Sodom and Gemorah. If there are 50 righteous people will You spare the cities? Abraham bargains G-d down to just 10. That is the reason usually cited for needing a minyan. Ten righteous people. Ten adult Jewish males. Ten adult Jews. Those provide a sense of community, connection and support. It’s what we need for a full service. But that doesn’t mean we can’t pray as individuals on our own.  

We don’t ask for things from G-d on Shabbat. G-d is resting too. Except we do. We prayed the Mi Sheberach prayer, for healing of mind, body and spirit. And many of our prayers pray for peace. It is throughout our liturgy. Oseh Shalom, Sim Shalom, Shalom Rav all hope for peace. Pray for peace. Even on Shabbat.  

Recently, however, I was at a clergy meeting. Another rabbi, citing Ecclesiastes said that he would not pray for peace. He could only pray for a successful war. The other clergy in the room were pretty stunned. We quickly moved the agenda to talk about other things, like the Interfaith Thanksgiving Service. Just like Abraham and Abimelech, we Jews can sit down (or stand up) and pray with other people. I would argue that this is not the time to cancel interfaith services. It is a time to be more visible not less. It is, in fact, a time to pray for peace. 

But back to my brief grammar lesson. L’hitpalel is a reflexive verb. It something that we do to ourselves. Maybe in community and maybe alone. What does it DO? What change does it affect? I think it is about balance. About being calm. About being grounded. About being peaceful. It changes us in fundamental ways.  

When we first meet Avram, he is told to Lech L’cha, to go forth. from his native land . Some argue about the formulation. There seems to be an extra lamed, Perhaps it really means to go towards yourself, to find yourself. 

That is part of why meditation can be so important. It is a chance to go to yourself.  

I like the Buddhist metta meditation, sometimes called the lovingkindness meditation: 

For ourselves:
May I be happy. May I be well. May I be safe. May I be peaceful and at ease. 

For our families, neighbors, friends:
May you be happy. May you be well. May you be safe. May you be peaceful and at ease. 

For our enemies:
May they be happy. May they be well. May they be safe. May they be peaceful and at ease. 

I first learned this in Guatemala when I was there with American Jewish World Service. We were standing in a rose garden that unbelievably was started in 1983, the year of the “scorched earth.” It is estimated that between 1982-1983, 70,000 of Guatemala’s indigenous population were killed or disappeared. Inhabitant were raped, tortured and murdered. Over 300 villages were completely razed. Crops and drinking water polluted. What did it mean to be standing in this beautiful rose garden, praying for peace for my enemies?  

This is a difficult time for Jews. Very difficult. In Israel. Even right here in the States with rising anti-semitism. There is a place for prayer in all of this. But I will not be praying for war, successful or otherwise. I will continue to pray for peace. To pursue peace. To run after peace, just as Abraham did. Right here at home. 

Last night we talked about blessings. What does it mean to be a blessing. How do you know you are a blessing? Everybody left with a blessing, given by someone present, either in the room or on Zoom. We learned that ia blessing is something we are grateful for, It can be something unique that you offer the world. The world is a better place because you are in it. Each of you is a blessing.  Each of you brings me joy. Even in a time of war. 

I saw this post recently, a Mary Oliver poem about joy.

If you suddenly and unexpectedly feel joy, 
don’t hesitate. Give in to it. There are plenty 
of lives and whole towns destroyed or about 
to be. We are not wise, and not very often 
kind. And much can never be redeemed. 
Still, life has some possibility left. Perhaps this 
is its way of fighting back, that sometimes 
something happens better than all the riches 
or power in the world. It could be anything, 
but very likely you notice it in the instant 
when love begins. Anyway, that’s often the 
case. Anyway, whatever it is, don’t be afraid 
of its plenty. Joy is not made to be a crumb.
Mary Oliver

Last week we debated whether we could do an update form of Adon Olam. I argued, yes argued, that yes…if Israelis can do weddings. We can sing. Joyfully. Even in our sadness.

 Abraham in this week’s portion is told that he and his descendants will be a blessing. He will be as numerous as the stars in the sky and the sands of the sea. 

At the High Holy Days I stood here and said come back for Lech Lecha and I would talk about Isrrael, I figured we would be discussing judicial reform. I figured it would be complicated. I figured that we would not all agree and that I would feel like I don’t know enough. I still don’t but it is an important conversation. A critical one. I did not imagine that we would be at this moment. 

Many rabbis this week have shared how the Torah portion today fits the moment that we are in.  

G-d tells Avram, not yet Abraham, to go, to leave his country, the land of his birth, his father’s house, and go to the land that G-d would show him…to Canaan, now the land of Israel. There he would be.a blessing. A great nation. 

This is the land that G-d swore to give to our ancestors, to Abraham, to Isaac and to Jacob, throughout the Torah. This reference here then is the first claim that Jews are in the land. Hebrews, Israelites, Jews, whatever term you call us, have lived continually in the land since Abraham’s time. Perhaps, in the continual barrage of misinformation, you may have read or seen a meme that Jews or Israelis have no claim to the land because they haven’t lived there bwfore 1948. That would be false. Even after the destruction of the Second Temple some Jews remained. That’s why there are two Talmuds, the Babylonian Talmud and the Yerushalmi, The Jerusalem Talmud. That’s why there are photos from the 1800s of men and women both standing at the Western Wall that I like to use to talk about a woman’s right to daven at the Kotel equally with men—but that is a sermon for another day. Sometimes we need to refute misinformation.  

Back to today’s story. There was a famine in the land and once again Avram and his family became refugees. He went down to Egypt. In the Zohar we learn that this is also a spiritual going down, the opposite of going up, making aliyah which is a spiritual aliyah. A measure of that going down is how Avram treated Sarai. She was a beautiful woman, and he was willing to sacrifice her to the Egyptians to save himself by calling her his sister. This is the end of National Domestic Violence Awareness Month. Every year I say something about this topic. Today I will merely say that our patriarchs and our matriarchs were not perfect people. This was not Avram’s finest moment. And it is a clear example of domestic violence. And he uses this trick, this ruse twice!  

 Domestic violence exists in roughly the same proportions regardless of educational level, economic level or ethnic origin. It exists in the Jewish community, Roughly, 1 in 4 women will experience rape or domestic violence at some point in their lifetimes. It is wrong. Period. And it still exists and the numbers show that it went up during the pandemic by roughly 40%. That is why I am so proud of the work that organizations like Shalva do and closer to home our own Maureen Maning and the Community Crisis Center. It is why it is important that the Elgin Police Department works to eradicate domestic violence and part of why I am a police chaplain.  

Back to our story, Sarai is carried off to the Egyptian palace because she is so beautiful. There she becomes a captive in the Pharaoh’s own home, and she becomes his wife. She is rescued by G-d when G-d unravels Avram’s plan and Pharaoh dismisses them. Rescuing captives, hostages is a very high value in Judaism. We pray for it as a blessing in those first morning blessings, who releases the bound or the fettered. It is part of the second paragraph of the Amidah, when we acknowledge that G-d, “matir asurim,” frees the captives. It is emphasized in the Talmud. 

The Talmud actually calls pidyon shvuyim, rescuing captives a “mitzvah rabbah”, a great mitzvah because captivity is seen as even worse than starvation or death. (Bava Batra 8b)  

Maimonides then writes, “The redeeming of captives takes precedence over supporting the poor or clothing them. There is no greater mitzvah than redeeming captives for the problems of the captive include being hungry, thirsty, unclothed, and they are in danger of their lives too. Ignoring the need to redeem captives goes against these Torah laws: “Do not harden your heart or shut your hand against your needy fellow” (Deuteronomy15:7); “Do not stand idly by while your neighbor’s blood is shed” (Leviticus 19:16). And misses out on the following mitzvot: “You must surely open your hand to him or her” (Deuteronomy 15:8); “…Love your neighbor as yourself” (Leviticus 19:18); “Rescue those who are drawn to death” (Proverbs 24:11) and “… there is no mitzvah greater than the redeeming of captives.” (Mishnah Torah, Hilchot Matanot Aniyim 8:10-11) 

The Shulchan Aruch adds: “Every moment that one delays in freeing captives, in cases where it is possible to expedite their freedom, is considered to be tantamount to murder.” (Shulchan Aruch, Yoreh De’ah 252:3) 

In Europe, congregations and communities maintained funds just for the rescue of those seized unlawfully.  

We have witnessed the power of this in what we call modern history with the Raid on Entebbe, executed by Netanyahu’s brother Yoni and the even more recent release of Gilad Shalit who was held captive by Hamas for five years and was only released in exchange for 1,027 prisoners including 280 prisoners serving life sentences for planning and perpetrating previous terror attacks. I fear that some of those events are part of how we got to this very moment. 

 Surely there are limits to our need and our desire to bring every captive back. Rabbinic scholars and military strategists debate this. Does exchanging one prisoner for many lead to more captives? Does it embolden terrorists? I know that I do not have the answer. I do know that every life has value. Every life is created b’tzelem elohim. In the image of G-d. Bring them home now. I do know that if I thought I could have solved peace in the Middle East I would have chosen a different career with perhaps the State Department.  It is also important to note that the Israeli policy is different from the US policy. Officially,  the US policy is we don’t negotiate with terrorists. Full stop. 

After Sarai’s release, Avram and Lot wander back up to the Negev, but their possessions were too great and “the land could not support them.” So, they divided the land in two. Avram said, Is not the whole land before you? Let us separate: if you go north, I will go south; and if you go south, I will go north.” Haven’t we heard that language before? Is this the original two state solution? 

 Yet again there is a repetition of the promise of the land: 

And יהוה said to Abram, after Lot had parted from him, “Raise your eyes and look out from where you are, to the north and south, to the east and west, for I give all the land that you see to you and your offspring forever.  

I will make your offspring as the dust of the earth, so that if one can count the dust of the earth, then your offspring too can be counted.   

Up, walk about the land, through its length and its breadth, for I give it to you.”  

And Abram moved his tent, and came to dwell at the terebinths of Mamre, which are in Hebron; and he built an altar there to יהוה. 

The land. This very land. His descendants, what became known as the children of Israel and the children of Ishmael both are blessings. Both lay claim to the land. Both are created b’tzelem elohim, in the image of G-d. 

Yet sibling rivalry is real and this solution is not good enough, a twelve-year war ensues. [The invaders] seized all the wealth of Sodom and Gomorrah and all their provisions, and went their way. They also took Lot, the son of Abram’s brother, and his possessions, and departed; for he had settled in Sodom.  

Lot is captured. Our second hostage.  

And [God] said to Avram, “Know well that your offspring shall be strangers in a land not theirs, and they shall be enslaved and oppressed four hundred years; Foreshadowing before there was a literary term for it.  

As I write this, we don’t know what will be or what the fate of the hostages will be. Apparently, Israel rolled into Gaza overnight. It is clear that more people will die. More children will die. Our tradition teaches to seek peace and pursue it. To run after it. I know I don’t have the solutions. My heart is breaking.  

Yet, there is another promise, given to Isaiah:
“I the Lord have called you. I hold your hand. I create you and appoint you a covenant people, a light of nations, opening the eyes of the blind, rescuing prisoners from the jail and those who sit in darkness from the dungeon.” (Isaiah 42:6-7) 

As part of our Torah service for the past few weeks we have been adding to our mi sheberach prayer, the prayer for those in captivity. There have been a number written recently. We have been using this one:

Our God, the One who raised Joseph up from the pit, be “a refuge for the oppressed, a refuge in times of trouble.” (Psalm 9:10)   

Send complete rescue and full redemption to all those held captive by the enemy. Strengthen their spirit and bring them our prayers that they be protected from all harm.  Implant understanding in the heart of the enemy that they may return the captives in wholeness of body and spirit.   

Grant wisdom to the Israel Defense Forces that they may secure freedom for the captives without loss of life.   

Grant strength of spirit and courage of heart to all the sons and daughters of Abraham, Sarah, and Hagar to release bonds of captivity and allow us all to live in freedom.   

“They shall call upon Me, and I will answer them; I will be with them in distress; I will rescue them, and honor them.” (after Psalm 91:15) 

Rabbi Ofer Sabath Beit-Halachmi (Translation: Rabbi Rachel Sabath Beit-Halachmi)