Today is Rosh Hodesh Av. Today we start the intense period of mourning for the destruction of the Temples that culminates on Tisha B’av.
Tisha B’av is the saddest day on the Jewish calendar. A full fast day. A day of profound grief.
Every year I think that I won’t observe Tisha B’av. What are we mourning for. Those acts happened thousands of year ago. They are not relevant any more.
Except they are. Every single year during the Three Weeks leading up to Tisha B’av there is something that takes my breath away. Something that causes me to think deeply about my relationship to Israel. Something that makes me weep. This year is no exception. This year there is too much.
On Friday night, as a family was gathered around their Shabbat table celebrating Shabbat and the birth of a new grandson, there was a knock on the door. The door was unlocked. A man walked in, murdering three and severely injuring the wife. There is NO justification for this.
Period.
While I was at a shiva house for a woman who died at 104, I mentioned the three Israelis as well at Kaddish. Rabbi Menachem Creditor is in Israel and was able to pay a shiva call. As he said in a post published today by the Huffington Post, “There are no words. Ain Milim. http://www.huffingtonpost.com/entry/among-the-mourners-of-zion_us_59772c80e4b01cf1c4bb7336?ncid=engmodushpmg00000003 ”
He went, quite simply because, as he said, it is what rabbis do. It is what Jews do. Whenever there is a loss, we gather. I echo what Menachem said, despite having no words:
“And: The slaughter of a Jewish family at their own Shabbat table is an unutterable act of evil, as would be any act of terror against any family of any kind in their home. Or anyone. Or anywhere. Terrorism is beyond rationalizing. Murder is not contextualizable. To frame the murders of the Salomons as understandable in any way, as some might be inclined to do, is not only insensitive in the moment, but an abdication of a moral sensibility. This loss is trauma born of evil. Incomprehensible.”
Period.
Rabbi Creditor tells the story of leaving the shiva house and being asked who he is, why he was there and what he thought of the Temple Mount. He is right. There are no words. He is right. At a shiva house you are not supposed to speak until spoken to. And when spoken to, the conversation is supposed to be about comforting the mourners, not about yourself or politics.
Period.
So he was correct in echoing his own words, “Ain Milim. There are no words.”
These rules of silence are ones we should all learn, whether we are paying a shiva call to a tent of mourning of unbearable grief as Menachem did or like the house I just visited where the discussion turned to health care in the United States.
This is not the time to discuss security gates on the Temple Mount or bulldozing houses on the West Bank.
Period. There will be a time for that. But not today. Today is for mourning. Period.
This would be enough on this Rosh Hodesh Av to feel the connection between the tragedies of 2000 years ago, the reasons we observe Tisha B’av and today. This is one more link in too, too long a chain. I can visualize years from now looking up Tisha B’av and finding the list of all the bad things that have happened in these Three Weeks. Destruction of the First and Second Temple. Expulsion of the Jews from Spain. Fall of the Warsaw Ghetto. And the murder of the Solomon family in 2017.
But there is more. What happened to the Salomon family is an external threat. Internal threats can be greater.
They say that Jerusalem was destroyed in 70 CE because of baseless hatred. Jew against Jew.
Hatred is such a harsh word, a hard word Yet, hatred seems to continue. Jew against Jew.
Just last month, the Israeli Cabinet voted to shelve the “Kotel Agreement,” angering many in Israel and the Diaspora. http://www.jpost.com/Israel-News/Politics-And-Diplomacy/Israel-shelves-plan-for-egalitarian-prayer-space-at-Western-Wall-497859
http://masorti.org/background-kotel-agreement/
It delegitimizes many Jews both in the diaspora and in Israel itself. It questions our authenticity. My authenticity. It questions whether we are even really Jews at all. Entitled to the same rights and obligations to prayer as the ultra-Orthodox. And it is wrong.
Period.
Others have said this before and there are good sources on it. Better than I can write here. If you need all the halacha on why women are obligated to pray and not just exempt as some would have you believe, check out the Jewish Orthodox Feminist Alliance. https://www.jofa.org/library/subject/75
Abandoning the Kotel Agreement and only listing to the Western Wall Heritage Foundation Rabbis is wrong.
Period.
It is wrong when the Chief Rabbinate in Israel publishes accidentally on purpose a list of 160 rabbis from around the world whose testimony the chief rabbinate is not accepting for questions of Jewish status in Israel. This list includes many prominent rabbis in the US including some right here in Chicagoland. It includes rabbis from every stream of Judaism. Orthodox, Reform, Reconstructionist, Renewal. It includes good friends of mine and rabbis I have never met. It does not include any women. And it is wrong.
Period.
Here is the full list. http://www.haaretz.com/israel-news/1.800651
And here is what my colleague Rabbi Michael Siegel wrote about being on the black list.
https://www.ansheemet.org/response
These stories are not new. With every wedding couple, with every possible convert, with every person who wants to move to Israel, to make aliyah and claim their Israeli citizenship, I tell them that I would be honored to serve as their guide through those lifecycle events. I will study with them. Listen to their hopes and dreams. Help them craft meaningful, personalized ceremonies. However, they need to know that my ceremonies, my testimony may not be recognized in Israel. It may never be recognized in Israel. And that’s wrong.
Period.
So on this Rosh Hodesh Av, I am broken. Again. We as a Jewish people are broken. Again.
Rav Kook, the first chief rabbi in Israel taught that the antidote to Sinat Chinam, the baseless hatred that destroyed Jerusalem is Ahavat Chinam, baseless love.
“The story is told that Rabban Yohanan Ben Zakkai and Rabbi Joshua were walking by the ruins of the Temple. Rabbi Joshua said, “Woe to us that the place where the atonement for the sins of Israel was made has been destroyed!” But Rabban Yohanan Ben Zakkai replied, “Do not be grieved, my son. Do you not know that we have a means of making atonement that is as good as this? And what is it? Gemilut hassadim – acts of loving-kindness, as it is said, ‘For I desire hesed – loving-kindness – and not sacrifice!'” (Hosea 6:6). Avot d’Rabbi Natan 4:21.”
The Torah is clear. We need to love our neighbors as ourselves. (Lev. 19) More than that we need to love the stranger. Today, and every day, we need to find ways to do precisely that. That is how I will observe Tisha B’av again this year. By mourning. By showing up. By being silent.
And when we rise from shiva, with deeds of love and kindness. Actions speak louder than words.
Beautiful,heartfelt and meaningful. I struggle with my relationship to/with Israel. I am a convert under both the Reform and Conservative movements more than 39 years. I have been a teacher, Bd. Member ,officer and President. I have been a synagogue member for 40 years and still it’s not enough. When will I be Jewish enough?
You are Jewish enough! I remember sitting in a Beit Din, court of Jewish law, at the mikveh, to affirm someone’s Jewishness. One of the other rabbis, a dean amongst rabbis said to the candidate, “You will make a wonderful Jew. We are delighted to welcome you. I hope that we don’t disappoint you. Because some day, somewhere along the way, we will. And I hope that you will have it in your heart to forgive us.” Those were powerful words. We Jews are not always nice to each other. It is what caused the destruction of Jerusalem and what continues to cause many Jews to walk away. It is tragic.